post-college, freedom and anxiety

Although I’ve graduated college nearly a year ago, the feeling of college as a thing of the past has recently just settled in. How have I become aware of this? The thing about school is that it basically structures your day. Classes are at a certain time, papers have to be written, and tests taken, so you schedule around these imperatives. In one sense we can say the structure of college carries you. Well, this is how I know I’m not in school: I have to carry myself. I don’t mean that I’m completely on my own and have to survive. I have my parents for that. I just mean that I wake up and I don’t know what to do. I know I should eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner, but besides that, my days are spent, hour after hour, wondering what I should be doing.